Who's afraid of Blue Monday?

So apparently today is Blue Monday: the day someone decided we would all be hit with a heavy load of depression. This third Monday in January has been called this because it is thought to be caused by multiple factors: miserable weather, broken resolutions, post-Christmas debt and weight anxieties. Usually the credit card bills have dropped through the letterbox by now and the weight loss plan has gone awry. And the cold bleak weather which is acceptable at Christmas now becomes painful.

After the adrenaline rush of Black Friday way back in late November when we all lost our minds for a short period of time over the cheap price of electronic gadgets, and the wonderful mulled wine mist of Christmas we are now hit with nothing except long stretches of cold days and nights and not being able to go out because of bills. We sit on the sofa trying hard not to drink any alcohol because of Dry January (another term worthy of discussion) watching the endless award ceremonies where glamorous stars in designer clothes walk along sunlit red carpets in sunnier climes. Is it no surprise therefore that most of us feel a little less than gloomy?

Diet experts warn against eating and drinking too much sugar and caffeine products over this sad period: Apparently caffeine, found in coffee, cola and energy drinks, is often called a ‘drug’ as it acts as a stimulant and can improve the feelings of alertness, and counter the effects of fatigue. Therefore too much caffeine, particularly in people who are not used it, may cause the adverse effects of irritability and headache.

Hmm. So not only will we wake up feeling very depressed today, but we really shouldn't try to cheer ourselves up with a cup of coffee and a bar of chocolate. I don't expect a glass of wine is a good idea either. However, do not fear, I have come up with a few reasons why we should put Blue Monday back in its box and forget all about it:


1) Ligher Evening are on their way- It may be dark when you get up and when you get home from work. The trees are still bare. But at least it’s all going in the right direction now and today the sun will set at around 4.30 pm. It’s practically time to get the barbecue out.

2) Dry January - if you are taking part in not drinking all month, then you’re over halfway there.  Only twelve days to go until you can have a drink.  Or alternatively, if you are not taking part, then you've only go twelve days left of hearing people tell you how much better they feel and how much weight they’ve lost.

3) Broadchurch is on tonight and Wolf Hall starts on Wednesday -  need I say more?

4) Check out Facebook and YouTube for some photos of fluffy pictures of kitten/puppies/ducklings.  They always cheer me up.

5) Waitrose Pecorino and Basil Dip - out of this world delicious but not so good if you are trying to lose weight.    Enhanced by glass of white wine so not necessarily a good idea if you are doing Dry January (see 2 above).

6) Tomorrow is Tuesday and will no longer by Blue Monday.

Seriously though. It's only a day.

Too Much Choice?

It’s great to have choice isn’t it?  To be able to scan down a list of things and choose something you really want or need.  It’s wonderful to have the chance to pick colours or flavours, or even sizes.  That kind of choice is great.  Especially because it’s your choice and no one has foisted it on you.

But I do wonder if perhaps we have taken it all a little too far.  For example, a trip to a coffee shop can often be rather stressful. You place your order and are immediately asked if you want “an extra shot”, or “caramel flavouring” or “a cake”.  The thing is, you’ve stood in the line long enough to know that all your really want is your original choice – a coffee, a cappuccino, an espresso or a latte. If you’d wanted a latte with an extra shot and caramel syrup served with a large chocolate brownie you’d have asked for it in the first place.  You know your own decisions.  Don’t you?

It’s the same with certain shops now.  You go to buy a newspaper, or maybe a birthday card or a pen refill and they try to sell you half price chocolates or stamps.  Really?  If you wanted those things you’d have picked them up by now.  And isn’t constantly offering half price chocolates merely adding to the obesity problem we all so concerned about. Ditto above paragraph in the coffee shop.  This kind of pressure overrides all our good intentions and our own personal choices.

And then there’s the bank.  I don’t go in very often these days – it’s all online now or cash is withdrawn from the hole in the wall.  However, there are the odd occasions when I need to bank a cheque.  This transaction should be very straightforward.  Hand over the passbook with the cheque – thank you very much – but no.  Questions must be asked – services must be offered.  Once again – no thank you.  If I wanted home insurance I’d be asking for it right now.

And don’t get me started on the Post Office.  Stamps – pah!  Parcel postage?  Maybe you might want guaranteed the next day?  Signed for?  Insurance?  Your own personal jet to fly it there for you?  OK, I made that last one up.  No thank you kindly Postal worker, I just want to send this parcel first class that’s why I am here in the first place.  If I wanted to send it guaranteed next day, signed for and with insurance I’d tell you.  Honest.  So stop bugging me and just accept my choice.

Don’t get me wrong.  I am glad I live in a society where I have choices.  There are some who don’t have such luxuries.  But what I would really love is the chance to be able to make them all on my own and not have them questioned all the time.  That’s all I’m saying.

January 2015

New Year but there's still the washing.....

It's amazing isn't it.  A New Year sweeps in full of hope and bounty, making us sweep away the dust and cobwebs of 2014 and bring out all those resolutions and promises for the coming year.

But there is one thing that never changes.  Clothes are still worn and still  need to be washed.  I so wished I could have had the robotic housewife I asked Santa for, but twas not to be.  Sure I love my jewellery and boots Absent Husband gave me, but my very own housekeeper would have been the icing on the cake.

Talking of Absent Husband - he's around a lot these days and whilst helpful and useful (read IT support), he does seem to manage to walk passed the washing machine with not so much as a brief glance.

So unless someone invents the housewife robot, or clothes that don't get dirty, or heaven forbid a child helpful and keen, I guess I will just continue with loading and washing and drying and folding and ironing.

Beetroot juice and red wine in the shopping trolley. The adventures of Absent Husband at home

Absent Husband (who by the way is now no longer absent) is on a red thingy diet.  After reading an article in the paper about health for men over a certain age, he now drinks beetroot juice in the morning(yep you read it right). In the evening, red wine takes over the red rule.  I am beginning to think he is a vampire.

Now I don't have a problem per se with this whole beetroot thing.  But it does mean that we all live in fear of a spillage and it has made the weekly shop more expensive.  Talking of the weekly shop, Absent Husband came along with me the other day (I told you he was around at the moment). Now that was an illuminating experience.  Along with said beetroot juice, many other exotic and unusual things were added to the basket and of course, the levels of wine bottle purchased made the weekly shop a good 30% higher than normal.

But the purchasing doesn't just stop at food. Absent Husband has also managed to buy a shredder for his office.  Noisy.  A hedge trimmer for the garden.  Noisy.  And a cordless vacuum to make life easier?)  Noisy.  

Lucky for me I can go into the shed.

L is for Learner

It’s been a couple of years since Eldest Son learnt to drive, and now Younger Son is behind the wheel and the one thing that is still obvious is that a lot of drivers still don’t know what the letter L stands for.

L stands for Learner.  That means the person driving is a Learner driver. The clue is in the word and it’s not that difficult to give them the time and space in which to learn to drive. After all, you were once a learner.

It always seems amazing to me that people will cut in front of learners, beep them when they hesitate at a junction and roar passed glaring through a fog of pent up frustration.  Now I am not saying that I haven’t occasionally tapped the wheel as I wait for a learner to move forward, but I can tell you that even driving instructors are left shaking their heads with the attitudes of other drivers. 

It seems to me that there are a few drivers out there who could do with some remedial lessons themselves.  For example, I is for Indicator.  That’s the stick located on the left or right hand side of your steering wheel, which tells other drivers where you are planning on going.  It’s quite useful actually and may just mean that a learner driver nearby might be able to make a decision about what to do next. 

As the Meerkat from a famous car insurance company would say, ‘Simples’.

Dog vs Teens

At last the truth is out.  A recent study in the US revealed that mothers show the same maternal instincts towards their pet dog as they do to their child.  In some of the tests, mothers actually showed greater response to their dog’s image. I am not surprised at this, and here’s why:

Faithful Hound does not leave wet towels on the bedroom floor nor does he eat the entire contents of the fridge in one sitting.  (Although there is a possibility he would if only his paws could open it)

Faithful Hound does not desert you all evening to go on his computer /smart phone while you sit alone in front of Great British Bake Off.

Faithful Hound does not go all hormonal and moody.

Faithful Hound actually bounds up to see you every time you arrive home even though you’ve only been gone ten minutes.

Faithful Hound does not borrow your comb, straighteners, hair gel, mobile phone charger, earphones or expensive speakers.

Faithful Hound comes when you call him.  (Unless a grey squirrel is involved)

Faithful Hound does not hack into your Amazon and ITunes accounts.

Faithful Hound goes to bed when you tell him to.

And there you have it – several reasons why I might if tested reveal a slightly more interested response to the image of my dog.

Oh and finally, Faithful Hound keeps your feet warm on a cold evening when Absent Husband has turned the heating off.

Column for Maidenhead Advertiser, Thursday 16th October 

Finished by the skin of my teeth....

July and August flew by in a haze of hot summer days and long hours chained to the keyboard.  There were A level exams for Younger Son and end of years for Only Daughter.  Eldest Son finished university ridiculously early and joined the previously unknown world of employment serving Toffs (or wannabe Toffs) at Royal Ascot.

The book ticked along with some days of frantic and frenetic writing and other days of endlessly slow   tortuous trickles of words.  I finally finished the book in mid July giving myself only three weeks to edit the first draft.  The editing was done whilst trying hard to ignore the wonderful hot sunshine outside the summerhouse (blinds were drawn tightly) and my shoulders and arms ached from endless backspacing and cut and pasting as I tried to get a draft ready to send off for manuscript review.

The neighbour's noisy gardeners drove me insane (all summer...) with their endless strumming and mowing.  But I would not allow myself to be distracted!  Having the deadline of August 9th was the best thing as I continued to drive myself to at least get a draft finished by then.  It's all too easy to sit around enjoying the sun and not focussing on your work.

So on Friday 9th August, the manuscript made its way into an envelope and off to the Post Office.

108,000 words and six months later.  Hoo-bloody-ray!!