The Launch of Le Shed - my writer's shed is famous (well, a little)

Here is my blog for the London Writer's Club:

I may be no Roald Dahl but I do have the most wonderful garden house to write in. Sitting in prime position in a sunny part of my garden is my new summerhouse, equipped with insulated walls and roof, perfect for writing on a cold winter’s day. The light from the floor length windows makes me feel like I am outside and the peace and quiet it provides is great for creativity. Faithful Hound has a bed on the floor near my desk and my little kettle keeps me provided with tea. The only problem is the nearby neighbours noisy garden equipment…..

To be honest, it's been quite wet recently and trudging up and down to the shed (or Le Shed) is fraught with problems.  The muddy trail is a nightmare and even the two door mats are not quite doing the job.  When the rain stops (if if ever does) I will be down there with mop and bucket to give the floor a clean.  More diversionary tactics I hear you say?

  

Cogito ergo sum - I think, therefore I am

Here's my latest column for the Maidenhead Advertiser.

Two interesting technological stories have developed this week.   

Firstly, a survey done in the US about narcissism has revealed that the more one posts on social media the more self-involved one may be.  They needed to do a survey to tell us that?  It claimed that Facebook acted as a mirror to the user’s perceived image whereas Twitter was more of a megaphone for younger people’s opinions.  My view is that younger people just got fed up with seeing photos of themselves as babies posted on Facebook by their parents and moved on to Twitter to escape it. 

Secondly, a British computer company has been sold to Google this week.  The business specialises in Artificial Intelligence, developing machines which can mimic the brain’s ability to improve performance.  Google have always wanted to build a search engine so sophisticated that it knows users better than they know themselves. Thus in the future, a large majority of search queries will be answered without you actually asking.  Handy - but what if your mind is like mine and often on several tangents at any one time?  Will there be an algorithm suitable for my individual ramblings?  It is quite likely that my mind might actually short circuit the computer.

But do you know what annoys me the most?  It might be easy to order food and have it delivered just by thinking it, but it still requires someone to cook it.  Unless someone out there is developing a robotic housewife?  Please let me know.

New washer and dryer! It's better than Christmas

Ah, the sight of new white goods.  Pristine and beautiful, snuggled under the bench top in my laundry.  Just waiting to be used.  Did I feel sad as the old ones were taken away?  No.  Like a fickle lover I turned my back on them as they sat forlorn and unwanted by the truck, waiting to be removed.  And my new precious domestic best friends basked in the warmth of  my admiration.

Isn't it sad that such a thing could bring such joy?  Still, 1,505 words were written whilst waiting for the domestic attendants to be delivered.  And four teaspoons of sugar were used in the tea provided for the chaps who installed them.

And now to put on the virgin wash......

Two thousand words and counting......

2,066 words to be precise.  It's great news when this happens.

After a few days of avoidance tactics, eg, transferring dates from a 2014 diary I don't like to a new 2014 diary and then to my phone; or spending ages on Google looking at funky stationery for my new writing shed; or spending ages looking at pictures of the floods on Twitter; or trying to fix the tumble dryer with sellotape and blue tack; or buying a new dryer from John Lewis after reading several reviews of the best dryers to buy; or "browsing" Facebook; or updating Good Read etc, or looking for cheap coffee machines on the internet.......

So avoidance tactics:

Cats (read dogs in my case) are dangerous companions for writers because cat watching is a near-perfect method of writing avoidance

Dan Greenburg  (see Faithful Hound below)

I remember reading somewhere about an organization called Procrastinators Anonymous. I think they had been in existence for some years but had never gotten around to having a meeting. Anon.

I love being a writer.  What I can't stand is the paperwork.  ~Peter De Vries

Did I really just Google quotes about avoidance?

You get my point.

So you can imagine my excitement when I came down here today and actually wrote solidly for two hours with a good well written output of 2,066 and a clear idea about the next chapter.  So, why aren't I writing the next chapter?

Good question. Ummmm.....

My great distraction.....

Is there such a thing as a character graveyard?

The wonders of the new writing shed are starting to wear off.  Don't get me wrong, I love working down here and it's definitely quieter and more conducive to writing.  However, I have revamped and redrafted the plot and outline of my book some many times now that if I printed out the new versions of the opening chapters, I could actually use them as a foot stool.  (actually I do need a foot stool - it's better for my posture).

Anyway, the thing about writing with multiple characters is that you have to make sure they are relevant, that their role in the story is useful.  And you also do  not want too many characters or it becomes one of those situations that I, as a reader, absolutely hate, which is when you have to keep thinking about where all the characters fit in.

So, I have kept two of the original characters and replaced the other three with a new three.  Simple!  Well, not quite.  However, it could just be the right way forward.  I just feel sad about the three I have removed. Where do they go?  What do I do with them and all the things that they did in my story?  Is there a vault for unwanted characters?  Do I bury them in a character graveyard?  How many characters have ended up on a writer's floor?  Perhaps I can use them one day - somewhere else, in a new story with new characters to interact with.

Rest in peace Lizzie, Vivian and Helena.

New Year's Resolutions. Happy 2014

New Year's Resolutions: everyone makes them and everyone breaks them.  Personally I have never actually made one.  Well, I have thought about ones I could make but have never instituted them.  I honestly admire people who make them and follow them through.  But my only question to them is this - why limit yourself to only once a year? Surely self improvement should take place all the year round? 

Anyhow this year I have made a resolution. It is quite simply just to write.  I will write and I will keep writing but most importantly I will believe in myself.  I won't beat myself up if I don't write reams every day, but I WILL WRITE!  If it is a load of rubbish at least I am writing.  If I only blog or tweet at least I am writing.  

And finally, my last point on resolutions:

"I do think New Year's resolutions can't technically be expected to begin on New Year's Day, don't you? Since, because it's an extension of New Year's Eve, smokers are already on a smoking roll and cannot be expected to stop abruptly on the stroke of midnight with so much nicotine in the system. Also dieting on New Year's Day isn't a good idea as you can't eat rationally but really need to be free to consume whatever is necessary, moment by moment, in order to ease your hangover. I think it would be much more sensible if resolutions began generally on January the second."

- Helen Fielding, "Bridget Jones's Diary"

Forgiveness for the New Year

Forgiveness for the New Year

I don’t know about you but I get quite stressed around Christmas.  I worry that I won’t get anything done in time and that I will have too much food leftover, or heaven forbid – not enough!  I hate the dark evenings that begin at five o’clock and as much as I love having my family around me, I almost begin to dread it.  So, I was going to make a humorous quip about dealing with this stress (probably one which would have suggested wine – my usual remedy).  But then something got in the way.  Nelson Mandela died and with him the legacy of forgiveness.  I panicked for a minute, wondering who we could look to now to teach the patience and tolerance he so strongly advocated.

And then I remembered Malala Yousafzai – the sixteen year old girl who was shot for going to school.  A few weeks ago I watched a documentary about her, and I was struck not only by how she forgave her would be killers, but that she wanted to make life better for them as well.  She said, “We realize the importance of our voices only when we are silenced.”  That is so true.  Imagine what would have happened in South Africa if Mandela had remained silent after he was imprisoned?

And so now I look to Malala and other young people like her – not just to continue on with the showing us the way, but to carry on with Mandela’s mandate of forgiveness and peace.

Have a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.